Are People Really Red Flags or Green Flags? A Chemist’s Perspective
You’ve probably heard people discussing “green flags” and “red flags” in relationships. A green flag means someone is considered good for you, while a red flag means the opposite — this person might not be a good match.
Hi, I’m Humair, and I’m a chemist. I want to share a new perspective with you: in reality, no one is purely a red flag or a green flag. Everyone is a yellow flag.
Let me explain this using a bit of chemistry. Now, don’t worry! I’ll keep it simple because I know chemistry can be both fascinating and tricky to understand.
What is a Yellow Flag?
The idea of a “yellow flag” isn’t commonly talked about, but it’s incredibly important. When you first meet someone, they aren’t instantly a red or green flag. Instead, they’re in the yellow zone — neutral, a blank slate. This is the stage where you start discovering who they are.
It’s in this space, the yellow flag zone, that people show their true colors over time. And this yellow flag can shift to either red or green, based on the traits and behaviors they reveal.
People are Complex
In relationships, it’s easy to label someone as a “red flag” or a “green flag,” but people are much more complex than that. Someone who might be a green flag (showing positive qualities) in one situation could show red flag behaviors in another. It’s not that they are entirely good or bad — it’s that their traits, like pigments, mix differently depending on the context.
For example, someone might seem like a red flag in a romantic relationship because they avoid deep conversations, but that same person could be a green flag at work due to their focus and efficiency.
This complexity is what makes humans so fascinating. Just like pigments, we all have different colors that blend and shift depending on the situation.
Chemistry and Human Behavior
If we dive deeper into chemistry, we see that pigments and molecules constantly react with each other to create something new. Humans behave similarly. When we interact with others, our traits mix, and how we’re perceived is always evolving.
Just as red and green pigments mix to form yellow, your actions — good or bad — combine in ways that others interpret based on their own experiences and biases. This fluidity is what makes relationships and interactions unpredictable and exciting.
Embrace the Yellow Flag
Instead of quickly labeling people as red or green flags, what if we embraced the yellow flag? What if we allowed people the space to reveal their true colors over time, rather than judging them based on first impressions?
By understanding that everyone is a blend of good and bad traits, we can approach relationships with more empathy, curiosity, and patience. This yellow flag phase is where potential lies, and it’s up to us to see where the mix of colors takes us.
The Chemistry of Colors
Now, let’s circle back to the chemistry behind this metaphor. The colors we see are often caused by pigments. Pigments are substances that give color to things — from plants to paints and even human skin. In chemistry, when red and green pigments mix, they form yellow pigments.
In the same way, when two strangers meet, they aren’t instantly a red or green flag to each other. At that moment, they’re like yellow pigments — neutral. Neither good nor bad, just full of potential. How they’re perceived later depends on which “pigments” or traits they choose to show. Some people may reveal more red pigments (negative traits), while others show more green pigments (positive traits).
Perspective is Key
Here’s the key part: the same person who may seem like a red flag to one person could be a green flag to someone else. It’s all about perspective.
Every human being carries a mixture of good and bad qualities, like red and green pigments. How a person manages their “red pigments” largely determines how others will see them.
